dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You pole danced in your parka.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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