Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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