I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
