my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
