glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize