Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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