seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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