we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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