I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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