no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
