ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
