I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
