even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
