thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
