I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
