Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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