Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize