That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
