what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
