If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
