she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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