My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
ok first of all what the fuck
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
