just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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