erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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