dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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