Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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