you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
