I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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