i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
my liver is dry heaving
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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