you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
