Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
