I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
