On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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