someone threw a dead crab at me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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