I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
