he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I could fuck to npr.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
