based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
