I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
