yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
