He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
