did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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