they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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