i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
