Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
