One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize