"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Randomize
