yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
