those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
