so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
