He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
