fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
