Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
