and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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