carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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