McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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