Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
