I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize