but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
