I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
