Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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