Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
