so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
