This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You ate ashes out of my bong
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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